“I really need a break!”
How many of you have uttered these words this week? It’s Christmas eve, and for many, that means closing the laptop and setting your out-of-office for at least a few days.
Although multiple things related to COVID-19 will be making this a harder holiday, there is a much less obvious threat to getting the break you need. That culprit is what I call the “might-as-well” mentality.
This thinking is our internal story that kicks at the moment we stop being busy. Here’s how this plays out – feeling a little bored, you think to yourself, “Well, since I can’t do the normal things I usually do over the holidays, I might as well get some work done.”
The problem is obvious; the minute you open your work email or go to the laptop, your tired brain is re-hooked on work.
Most counter-intuitive about this is that even though you – your brain – needs the break, your brain will try to lure you into your comfort zone of staying busy, feeling “productive,” and, believe it or not, feeling stressed.
This holiday, I want you to work very hard to resist the lure of this brain trap. One of the best ways to do that is to pre-plan some alternatives things to do instead of working when this thinking takes hold.
Start by putting ‘work’ things away. There is truth behind the saying “out of sight, out of mind.”
Second, make a list of things you’ve wanted to do when you have time and just as critical, make them easily accessible. Just as true is the idea “in sight, in mind.”
For me, spending the tail end of this year starting to work on a book has resulted in a lot of time sitting. It has also been very busy with virtual events. Fitting in regular exercise has been a commitment I have made to myself and followed through on. Unfortunately, to save time when I exercise, I am very guilty of skipping the cool-down and stretching part of things. To say I am feeling a little inflexible is an understatement. I have multiple different stretching videos ready to go when I am tempted to open up work and just “organize some files.”
Finally, don’t just dismiss this mentality. Learn to listen to the emotion driving this thinking.
Perhaps you are drawn to work because you like the feeling of accomplishing things. Perhaps you like learning, feeling challenged, or feeling connected to others. Before you jump into work, take 30 seconds to reflect on what you really want.
Look at your list and break it out into some of those categories.
If you feel like you need connection, who and how can you reconnect with people?
Need some intellectual stimulation? What is a biography you’ve wanted to read or listen to and haven’t had the time? Or maybe you just need a good fiction book to lose yourself in. PUT IT ON THE COFFEE table so it is easy access. The more accessible something is, the more likely that you’ll do it.
This is a great time to try new routines. Always wanted to try a mindful practice? Download an app and start the beginner’s program.
Remember, sometimes NOT having a plan and letting your brain relax is exactly what you need. If you have been in go-mode for the past nine months your brain will have a hard time slowing down. In this case, help your brain wind down. When the urge to open work kicks in try just stopping. For one minute slow down and take some nice slow breaths and do nothing. Rewiring your brain to not look for constant distraction and novelty takes some deliberate work, but it is worth it. Within a couple of days you will find this get easier.
Three points of caution before you go.
First, when you make your list, keep the activities small, or choose one larger project. If you list renovate the bathroom – that is too big! Perhaps, look for a new vanity or browse Pinterest for ideas are small steps that will positively distract you but also keep stress levels low.
Second, if you do need to work over the holidays, then be clear on when you are working – but then put things away when you are not. It isn’t always the quantity of time off that has the biggest impact; it is more often how you spend that time. The truth is, most are not that great at taking good restorative breaks.
Finally, please don’t hear this advice as being less passionate or driven. Both of these characteristics require energy. Think of this time as your opportunity to refuel those so you can take on 2021.
There was a lot throughout 2020 that was difficult and outside of your control. Take back the end of this year and close it out on your terms. Swap out the automatic “might as well” for the thoughtful “I choose to” mindset instead.
Happy holidays everyone!